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Wednesday, August 31, 2005

 

MEN'S RULES - Insight

GUYS RULES-Finally . Please learn them-PRINT THIS AND POST IT!The Guys' Rules : At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.(I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear"the rules"from the female point of view...Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are nevergoing to think of it that way.1. Crying is blackmail.1. Ask for what you want.Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work!Just say it!1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.1. Come to us with a problem only If you want helpsolving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a serious medical problem. See a doctor.1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect usto act like soap opera guys.1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the waysmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell ushow you want it done. Not both. If you already knowbest how to do it, just do it your self!1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have tosay during commercials.1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions andneither do we. STOPPING TO ASK DIRECTIONS FROMSTRANGERS IS DANGEROUS AND STUPID! STRANGERS THEN KNOWYOU ARE LOST, AND COULD SEND YOU ANYWHERE, EVEN TOYOUR DEATH!1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windowsdefault settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkinis also a fruit. Wehave no idea what mauve is.1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," !We will act likenothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it isjust not worth the hassle.1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,expect an answeryou don't want to hear.1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anythingyou wear is fine...Really.1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about ! unlessyou are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgunformation, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It'slike camping.Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them alaugh.Pass this to as many women as you can - to give thema bigger laugh!

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